The World is Your Oyster (Card)

(i) Time is Money


A friend from up norf told me what he thought of us Londoners the other week. He said that we always walked in a dead-straight line, expecting everyone else to get out of the way. Although there are the exceptions to the rule, I think my mate couldn't have been more wrong.

You can say many thing about us types from the big smoke, but one thing that we will definitely agree upon is that we do not do 'wasting time'. In fact we pretty much hate it. Although spending the last three years in Manchester dulled down my inbuilt instinct to hurry everywhere, the minute I get off the train at Euston station that instinct kicks right back in. I have to be the first one on the bus and the first one off. I give myself a mental high five when I get off the right tube carriage to deliver me as close to the WAY OUT sign as possible when I get off.


It seems like there's no doubt that once you become a Londoner, you will always be a Londoner and become a Londoner once more every time you return.

Walking around London makes motorway driving look like childs-play, and that is why my friend couldn't have been more wrong in his view of us. Anyone who has experienced the joy of motorway driving knows that if you just stick in the middle lane not only will you arrive at your destination rather slowly but you will royally annoy all the drivers around you.
This principle applies just as strongly to the bustling streets of London with just one obvious exception - there are no lanes. This makes the overtaking of slower 'traffic' more of a skill, requiring balance, brilliant spatial awareness and speed. "The dance of the Londoner", as I'd like to call it, takes years to learn and perfect but only takes minutes to remember - like riding a bike!

However this is all before you factor in the other big difference between motorway-driving and London-walking...the ones who haven't read the 'walkway code' and don't know how to er...drive themselves...the TOURISTS. London's equivalent to a stoned teenage who's never sat in a car, let alone passed his text, thinking it's a good idea to get in his parents' Ford Fiesta and take a spin on the M1. With the best will in the world it's not going to end any other way than disastrously.  
Now i cannot blame tourists for wanting to enjoy our amazing city, however the fact that they don't know the unspoken code of our pavements does mean we have to become more creative with our overtaking. It becomes more than just a dance - it becomes an art form. Walking in a straight line is not an option in LDN, and anyone who attempts to get about in this way will only have their tempers frayed or get pushed out of the way by other people.

As i said before, we do not like wasting time, and the time we save in the day by skipping and darting past unsuspecting tourists is the extra time we have to enjoy another Gin and Tonic at the end of our day. Time is a precious entity in London, and we know how to make the most of it. Slow, gormless, purpose-less walking is not the way to make the most of this beautiful city. Time saved is time spent doing something better than standing on a tube platform or waiting for a bus.